So, how’d you “turn-out”?
What a good question.. I mean, when we’re born and in our early years, our parents, families, parent’s friends, neighbors, often wonder in awe, this little baby has her/his whole life ahead of them. I wonder what’s going to happen in their life? Where will they live? What will they do? How are they going to “turn-out”?
In answer to this question, most of us who have become adults will hopefully be able to say in a somewhat knowing voice, “well, I guess I turned out alright.” Of course, when we look back on our lives with a critical eye, we know there will be blemishes, mistakes (large and small), that we have hopefully “wisely” acknowledged, sat with, and learned from. At the same time, many of us will stop, count our blessings and be grateful for all the goodness in our lives. Gratitude will flow for those magical moments we've experienced through connections with inspiring, caring, adventurous people, and the beautiful places and nature we've experienced during the course of our lives. In some ways, we have shaped our world, and in many other ways the world has seeped into our DNA and we have been shaped by it. And this together creates how we've "turned-out".
If someone had asked me when I was say, 9 years old, how are you going to turn out? What will you do? Where will you go? I, like most of you, would have had a very unclear picture of my future life! In fact, that was my reality well into my teenager years and 20s. If those who know me now, the 52 year old Todd, had the power to go back in time, and let that 9 year old Todd know what he was going to do and become later on in life… That 9 year old would probably have told them they’re nuts! They would have told the young Todd, well you might be surprised but when you’re older...
“You’re going to live most of your adult life in a far away land that's nothing like your childhood neighborhood on Francis Drive. Yes, when you turn 27 years old, you’re actually going to leave the United States, and start living out of a backpack for 18 months traveling around Asia from place to place like some sort of a nomad. As a backpacker, you’ll spend time in the Himalaya's of Nepal, the cities of India, and most of the countries in South East Asia.
Luckily you won’t be alone in the beginning. In fact, you’ll have a great friend Marc Feyh, who's adventurous (or crazy) enough to join you for the first 3 months, thank goodness! Marc and you will figure out together what it's like to be completely untethered, and you'll experience the soaring freedom of traveling, that you never thought possible.
This time of your life will be transformational and will bring some clarity to some of the questions you have about life and the world around you. Through it, you’ll build up confidence that you can, not only make your way, but you will begin to believe that you can make a positive difference in the world.
During this time, you’ll also clarify the profession you’d like to pursue. Yes, you’re going to be a teacher Todd! You’re going to get a teaching degree, a masters in teaching and you're going to love your profession. You'll find this to be a key decision for making that positive difference.
(I might have said to them… but, but, I don’t completely love school right now.. I'm 9! Well I mean I love hanging out with my friends, but school.. A teacher, really!?)
Anyway, believe it or not, that 18 months will turn into over 20 years living abroad. During that extended period, you won't be alone.. Firstly, you’re going to have a special friend.. yes, I know this might be hard to swallow, you'll have a girlfriend... and eventually you'll get married to her in 2004 (really!?). Yeah.. and you’ll do a lot of these things together with her, so you won't be alone. Her name will be Meghan.. (married!?) Yeah, don’t worry, she’ll be awesome and adventurous just like you are going to be.. :)
Together with Meghan, you’ll live in a Thai monastery (Wat Kow Tahm on Koh Pha Ngan) and dive deeply into Vipassana meditation for 7 years. There you'll practice intently on what it means to live in the present moment, and open your heart with compassion for what really is going on in and around you. You’ll be one of the assistants, and later help manage this well known international retreat center. Through this volunteer work, you'll sweep, clean, garden, repair and paint the facilities, and at the same time you'll be there to help people explore themselves and their meditation practice. You'll have amazing teachers, and you'll even build a hut and live there for while. You'll make wonderful lifelong friends there. From this experience, later, you’ll go on to work with youth and adults in schools, helping them find the benefits of practicing mindfulness, compassion, lovingkindness, and more, all while walking alongside them trying to do the same.
(At age 9, I might have said, the Buddha, who’s that? And why would I have any interest in meditating? I love my life here on Francis Drive. That all sounds kind of scary..)
Not to worry Todd, when the time is right, it’ll ALL start to make sense to you.
Throughout the time from the year 2000 to 2021, you’ll live in Myanmar for 9 years, Thailand for 8 years, and Oman for 4 years. In that time, it’s going to be a wonderful adventure. You'll not only live at the meditation center, but you'll also climb mountains, cross deserts, scuba dive in beautiful waters and see creatures that you never knew existed. Careful, because you’ll also come face-to-face with mountain gorillas in the wilderness of Uganda, Africa. You’ll go on safari and walk through jungles and grasslands where native animals are truly wild and free as they have been for millions of years.
You’ll travel a lot! You’ll see distant lands and witness ancient ruins in Cambodia, Jordan, Egypt, and more. You’ll learn so much about OUR global heritage, the natural world, and where we came from that it’s going to blow your mind, and give you perspective that will help you appreciate cultures, languages, and our planet in a whole new way.
(9 year old Todd might have warmed up to these ideas, “wow, very cool, sign me up!”)
For 14 years, one of the coolest things you’ll become is an international school teacher. You’re going to get to work with amazing students and teachers from all corners of the earth. You'll teach social studies, language arts, math, science, global perspectives, and a really cool class called IB Theory of Knowledge. You'll also lead extracurricular programs, outdoor educational trips, and you'll initiate and develop, together with your students, world class service learning programs. Service will become a huge passion of yours which we will talk about more later..
Through these international school communities, you’re going to make some special friendships. You’ll have friends who will make you laugh, cry, grow, travel, dance, and do all kinds of crazy stuff that you probably shouldn’t be doing.. like buying a dirt bike at the age of 47 and trying to keep up with this wild Spaniard dude named Jorge, as you explore deserts and mountains together. He'll also get you to abseil and climb out of enormous caves in Oman. You’ll learn to play guitar; weave rugs; mountaineer; rock climb; run long distances; paddle board; and probably a lot of other things!
(9 year old Todd might start getting wiser and think.. "So, hmm, sounds like I have a "mid-life crisis" to look forward to. Looks exciting.. Yay!)
It won’t always be easy, light, and fun though, you will have to survive a cyclone and other major storms, where you’ll do everything in your power to help those who face the destructive forces of nature (increasing due to climate change). You'll be in a position where you can help those who lost family members, their homes, and everything they own. You’ll help them rebuild their homes, their schools and their lives. This will be a pivotal time in your life when Service becomes at the heart of what you do in schools and in your own way of life. Again, you won't be alone. There will be many Myanmar people, fellow teachers, and incredible students helping to guide you along this amazing journey of service!
Brace yourself because you'll have many challenges to face along the journey. For example, you’ll be on a ship that sinks in the middle of the Mekong River (Laos) and you'll nearly drown. You’ll come out of that experience appreciating the preciousness of life like you never have before. You’ll have to endure typhoid fever, a heart breaking miscarriage, the loss of close friends and loved ones who died way before their time, a global pandemic, and much more. There will be tough times ahead of you Todd, but you will find the strength to endure from places deep within you. You'll not only survive, but you will often thrive!
(Young Todd, is embracing his future self more now.. he also appreciates more and more that his life is going to be both challenging and an adventure.. and he's now getting excited for it!)
You will find, again and again the theme that, you are not alone. You will see that everyone, (everyone!?) yes everyone! has to endure their own struggles within their lives. And this connects you to everyone, including animals and all of life. These experiences will help you grow more deeply in Compassion. As a result, you'll become even more willing to jump in, help out and give more of yourself, because you’ll know how tough things can be at times. You’ll have a good heart that believes there are always ways to find our way back to peace, joy, happiness, and balance, even when we're being squeezed, ill, losing things or people we care about, or just when we're down. You'll find that through doing service you're living in the image of your best self and that is hugely up lifting. Through service, you'll also be better prepared to be helped in your times of need, so don’t worry, it will for sure be a two way street.
You’re going to have an amazing life ahead of you. Yes, doors will close.., but with an open heart, another open door is waiting around the corner, you’ve just got to prepare yourself to be open and walk through it once again.”
Yes, no doubt, if someone would have told me all of this when I was in my youth, I would have thought they must be crazy, and yet, I believe that 9 year old already had the spark of readiness for life's adventures.
In answer to the question, So, how'd you turn out? I'm happy, grateful, and amazed, so far with how I've both shaped and been shaped by the world. And yet, I say "so far" because I hold onto the belief that my best days and years are still ahead and that we're all still "turning out". Because honestly, the world needs all of us to "turn out" well for each other and the earth.
This is a brief summary my past 25 years. It was intended to lay some context for this blog. If you'd like to see future posts that will cover a range of topics related to mindfulness, service, and adventure, subscribe here! Thanks for reading!
If there’s anything you’re interested in finding out more about, just let me know.